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Layers

03 May

What’s the key to a perfect relationship?

Layers.

Like my good friend Shrek would say, Onions have layers..

Relationships have layers..

There are 5 main factors in a relationship..

First of all there is Attraction.

Attraction is important for any serious relationship, you’re going to be together forever?

You have to have attraction, whether it’s emotional or physical it has to be there!

Preferably it’s both emotional and physical that way if anything were to happen you have a higher chance of being able to keep that spark alive.

Of coarse at the end of the day when your old and grey the physical side isn’t really going to matter, but when your young and your both busy with work the physical stuff is going to help you out a bit.

The second layer is Patience, eventually you’re going to get to that stage where your starting to find little things that bug you, that your partner does.

For example, my partner is the biggest morning person you will ever meet, I.. on the other hand am more of a nightowl.. I don’t like the mornings and I don’t like them even less when there is someone very excited and happy in my face.

I also hate this throat noise thing he does, it sounds like an extremely loud frog croaking in my ear.. but I am constantly cracking my fingers, which he hates..

We both let it go, as a compromise.

All I’m saying is that no-one is perfect, and your partner isn’t the exception, it’s fine to have little things that you do that he hates and he’s allowed to have little things that he does that you hate, but it’s how you deal with it that matters in the end.

When in a relationship there’s only so much you can compromise about yourself without losing who you are and if you find yourself being someone more to please your partner then that’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship and maybe it’s time to move on.

Third layer of a good relationship.

Trust.

It is so important to have trust in your love, you must trust them because if your having doubts and you have no-one to reassure you it will drive you insane.

Slowly but surely you will be committed.

I’ve struggled with trust my entire life, because whether we want it to or not our past always effects our future in some way, we get burned and our natural instinct is to learn from it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

If you cannot trust your partner you will allow your insecurity to ruin your relationship, you could be potentially throwing away the love of your life without even knowing it.

You should take the approach that a new relationship is a clean slate, you both do not have a past and you should just go from there, anything that happened beforehand doesn’t matter, how are you supposed to see the future when your looking to the past.

Fourth Layer.

Communication.

There has to be a massive amount of communication in a positive relationship, whether it’s being able to communicate your feelings and tell your partner that you love them or that something is upsetting you, but you should be able to talk to them like a friend and not feel like your going to be judged or yelled at, you should be able to tell them if your feeling insecure or if you want something to change in your relationship.

You need to be able to hear each other out and put yourself in their situation, don’t react before you know all the facts and actually listen and take in what they have to say, a relationship is not one sided and neither of you should be happier than the other, in a fair relationship it needs to be even handed.

Last but not least.

Love.

If your heart isn’t in it then neither should you be, if your still holding onto someone elses love then you have to wait until you can let it go, I’d also recommend that you put some effort into loving yourself, because if you can’t love yourself how are you ever going to believe that someone else can love you too?

 

Ciao

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7 Comments

Posted by on May 3, 2012 in Journal

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

7 responses to “Layers

  1. jessesgir1

    May 9, 2012 at 7:01 am

    Shit ,I think my relationship is over . I agree with all you wrote ,and until now thought we had that … But this is my 3 night alone and with his phone shut off so I guess I was wrong . Luv your post !

     
    • b0nd3

      May 10, 2012 at 2:32 am

      Awee no, keep in mind everyone’s relationship is different.
      Although depending on how long you’ve been together I wouldn’t take it as a good sign that he’s had his phone off for 3 days!
      I’m glad you liked it!

       
  2. shimmeshine

    May 16, 2012 at 8:45 am

    great post……I agree with the layers you’ve mentioned so precisely 🙂
    No wonder I am in a happy relationship since 15 long years…………

     
    • b0nd3

      May 16, 2012 at 9:54 am

      Thankyou!
      15 years, wow! You should be so happy with that..
      I hope you both stay happy & strong 🙂

       
      • shimmeshine

        May 16, 2012 at 9:58 am

        Thank you, but we have always had our share of ups and downs 🙂

         
      • b0nd3

        May 16, 2012 at 10:00 am

        Good to know that it’s not just me! Ha

         
      • shimmeshine

        May 16, 2012 at 10:01 am

        Hang in there, more to come 😀

         

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