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I don’t really know.. (Beware, offensive language)

23 May

So I’m in this stage in my life which I’m gathering everyone goes through..
Either that or I’m having some sort of psychotic breakdown..
I’m feeling like I dislike my life..
I’m in a meaningless job that I didn’t study for..
Which takes me an hour to get to..
I’m in a small apartment where there isn’t even enough room for my things let alone anyone elses..
I don’t have a car so I can’t get anywhere..
My partner which I do have, couldn’t care less about me..
All I do is make his life worse..
I don’t think I have any friends, and the ones I do have I either don’t have time to see or can’t afford to go out..
My best friend is in Melbourne and I can’t find time to talk to her, plus I have nothing to talk about because my life is so boring..
I’m still not talking to anyone from my family since they confirmed they wanted nothing to do with me..
It seems like the only person that cares if I’m around is my boss, and that’s only because she can’t be fucked trying to find someone to fill my shifts.
I just think, what’s the point in trying anymore?
Why bother getting out of bed, going to work, getting dressed… doing my hair even.
When absolutely nobody gives a flying fuck.
I think from now on my philosophy is going to be, “I don’t give a fuck”
I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to talk to me..
I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to buy these sunglasses..
I don’t give a fuck if I look like a mess..
I don’t give a fuck if I look fat today..
I don’t give a fuck if it’s raining and everyone has an umbrella besides me..
I don’t give a fuck if I miss my bus..
i don’t give a flying fuck if nobody wants me around..
I’m here until I die, so fuck off and find someone else that has a fuck to give!

Excuse my language.

I’m going to go sulk in bed now and possibly fall asleep.
I might post a photo later.

Ciao

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4 Comments

Posted by on May 23, 2012 in Journal

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

4 responses to “I don’t really know.. (Beware, offensive language)

  1. iamsooverthis

    May 23, 2012 at 7:15 am

    I hear you. I have gone through similar stuff. And most of it hasn’t gone away yet. I guess keeping oneself happy is the key. Hope you feel better soon.

     
    • b0nd3

      May 23, 2012 at 7:17 am

      Thanks.. I appreciate the advice.
      I guess I’m a hard person to please..

       
  2. bellesogni

    May 23, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Uh yeah, changing attitudes is hard work, but not too many people like to around a downer.

     
    • b0nd3

      May 23, 2012 at 11:56 am

      I don’t see myself as a downer, I see myself as a realist.

       

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