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I don’t really know.. (Beware, offensive language)

So I’m in this stage in my life which I’m gathering everyone goes through..
Either that or I’m having some sort of psychotic breakdown..
I’m feeling like I dislike my life..
I’m in a meaningless job that I didn’t study for..
Which takes me an hour to get to..
I’m in a small apartment where there isn’t even enough room for my things let alone anyone elses..
I don’t have a car so I can’t get anywhere..
My partner which I do have, couldn’t care less about me..
All I do is make his life worse..
I don’t think I have any friends, and the ones I do have I either don’t have time to see or can’t afford to go out..
My best friend is in Melbourne and I can’t find time to talk to her, plus I have nothing to talk about because my life is so boring..
I’m still not talking to anyone from my family since they confirmed they wanted nothing to do with me..
It seems like the only person that cares if I’m around is my boss, and that’s only because she can’t be fucked trying to find someone to fill my shifts.
I just think, what’s the point in trying anymore?
Why bother getting out of bed, going to work, getting dressed… doing my hair even.
When absolutely nobody gives a flying fuck.
I think from now on my philosophy is going to be, “I don’t give a fuck”
I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to talk to me..
I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to buy these sunglasses..
I don’t give a fuck if I look like a mess..
I don’t give a fuck if I look fat today..
I don’t give a fuck if it’s raining and everyone has an umbrella besides me..
I don’t give a fuck if I miss my bus..
i don’t give a flying fuck if nobody wants me around..
I’m here until I die, so fuck off and find someone else that has a fuck to give!

Excuse my language.

I’m going to go sulk in bed now and possibly fall asleep.
I might post a photo later.

Ciao

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2012 in Journal

 

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This Love

Hmm..
I will lay here and wait for him, she thought as she lay on their bed naked..

10 Minutes Later..

Where is he?

She hears the car pull up, he always plays his music so loud..
And who could forget that turbo roaring through the streets..

She gets nervous, she begins to clench her toes, her eyes are darting around..
Waiting to hear that squeak of the front door..

Nothing..

What’s he doing? She thinks to herself..
Slightly sitting up trying to see out the window..
His car is there..
Where is he?

She hears a knock at the door..
Damnit! She says, looking around for something to cover herself with..
A jacket was the only thing she could find, it was laying on the floor in a pile of clothes..
She puts the jacket on quickly and ties up the belt..
Fixing her hair she walks towards the door..
Opens it..
Nothing…
What the?
She looks around the corner and who is standing at the bottom of the stairs?
“Beloved!” She yells
He smiles and walks toward her..
“Why didn’t you come in?” She asks
He says nothing, he takes her hand and kisses it softly..
“I missed you..” She says looking down at his hand on hers..
He places something in her hand and closes her fingers around it..
He turns and begins to walk away..
“Wait, where are you going?!”

To be continued..

 
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Posted by on March 28, 2012 in Journal

 

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